A ramble into the twisted side of Hogwarts
by Ruby Celesta
Summary: Tee hee heee. This is a weird/wonderful collab between myself and Silver Storm Dragon. Please r/r cos this is my first fic to be uploaded (and I've UPDATED it!!!)
1. The One With The Homocidal Noodle

The One With The Depressed Homocidal Noodle ( a new hairstyle, and a seriously pissed off Goth)  
  
"What the HELL have you done to your hair you homocidal noodle?" Syren Redwood shrieked at her sister, Maya.  
  
Maya remained cool as a cucumber, having had to live with this for the past 18 years. "I dyed it." She replied.  
  
"YOU DYED IT? But our hair has always been our best feauture!"  
  
"Draco dared me to."  
  
"But PINK?!"  
  
"It's my favortie colour-and Draco wears pink pants sometimes."  
  
Syren raised her eyebrows. "I thought you gave it up for Lent?"  
  
Maya shrugged. "We got bored."  
  
"How much time did you spend with eachother at his?"  
  
"Ummm...I lost count after the first ten days."  
  
"I despair of you, I really do. I could've had a normal sister, but noooooo, I got you..."  
  
"This from a goth?"  
  
"I am NORMAL! For a goth, anyway."  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
"Are you sure this'll work?" Fred (though looking like Seamus) asked.  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. "For the last time, yes! I told you, Dean and Seamus don't mind being out of it-we've got our exams coming up, and they want you to do them."  
  
"You didn't mention that." George moaned, him looking like Dean.  
  
"Well, I knew you'd refuse. And anyway, you know what the hels hapening, so you've got an advantage."  
  
"But McGonachall explains it-"  
  
"And we all listen like good little witches and wizards."  
  
"Oh yeah, you're teenagers...."   
  
"So are you!"   
  
"Are what?" Hermione asked, entering the compartment.  
  
"Are very depressing. Linkin Park are very depressing." Ron said quickly.  
  
"No, they aren't." Seamus/Fred protested.  
  
"Oh, come on! We've all heard In The End!" Dean/George commented.  
  
"I haven't." Harry pointed out.  
  
"You were in a cupboard for the best part fo your life-you won't have done."  
  
"Not funny."  
  
"It wasn't meant to be-it's true."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes."Look, Linkin Park can be depressing, and In The End is a good song. All happy? And anyway, Savage Garden rule!" (Sylvi's note: They do! It's soooo true!)  
  
"Who?" the boys chorused.  
  
"Men." muttered Hermione. "Technically, we're boys." Ron pointed out.  
  
"Technically, you're pains in the arses."  
  
"OH MY GOD! HERMIONE SWORE!" Fred screeched. (Ruby- I get that a lot too. Really pisses me off it does. Sylvi- OHMIGOD Ruby swore! Ruby- *wacks Sylvi with a cushion- hard*)  
  
"It's not the first time you've heard me swear, Seamus. And it won't be the last."  
  
Harry swiftly kicked Fred on the ankle. "Oh, I remember..."  
  
"Convincing." Ron muttered.  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
The Hogwarts Express stopped, and everyone knew the Easter holidays were wella dn truly over; and for the 7th year students this meant revision, revision, revision, exams, and then that bit of revision you knew you were meant to do, but had forgotten about for God knows how long.   
  
Maya looked around to see her boyfriend sauntering towards her, the usual scowl on his face. "Hey, Draco." Draco grunted. "Well, I love you too!" She snapped, and stomped off to find her sister.  
  
Draco realigned his vision to the Hogwarts Express, thinking about how bored he was. That was when he saw her; surrounded by her own friends, but she stood out from the crowd, the others just a blur around her. He's seen ehr before, but couldn't quite remember where, partly because the moment he saw her his IQ went down to that of a small vegetable. (Celesta's note: small vegetables are my favorite type of vegetables!) Not that small vegetables are gibbering idiots, but you get my drift...  
  
Hermione ran off the train, and promptly crashed into Harry, knocking him to the ground.  
  
"I always knew that you were evil." He moaned.  
  
"Sorry." Hermione blushed slightly. "You OK?"  
  
"Bruised pride, but I'll get over that. Probably." Hermione rolled her eyes, helping him to his feet.  
  
"You'll live."  
  
"I don't care, I'm gonna sue you for the emotional terror I just went through."  
  
"What sort of emotional terror is that?"  
  
"I was in shock."  
  
"What, of how devastatingly pretty I am?"  
  
"That's it, we're going to ban you from American TV shows."   
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Maya sat on her bed.  
  
"Something wrong?" Syren asked.  
  
"Just what I need, sympathy from a goth." Maya moaned.  
  
"This from the girl with pink hair?"  
  
"I'm pissed off with Draco."  
  
"I'm always pissed off with Draco, and it's done me the world of good!"  
  
"You're always pissed of with everyone, except me."  
  
"Yeah, I like you. I'm only pissed off with you most of the time."  
  
Maya looked up."Is that a compliment?"  
  
"Coming from me, yes."  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Ginny Weasley looked up to see Draco Malfoy staring at her in rapture. She raised her eyebrows at him, and he went over to her. Her group of friends dispersed, giggling. "Problem, Malfoy?" She asked drily.  
  
Draco smiled sweetly, a look much worse than his usual frown. "Aw, Mummmy must be so proud-you pieced a whole sentence together." (Sylivi's note: Smeghead. Celesta's note: SEXY smeghead. Sylvi's note: Good point. But Ron's mine, OK?)  
  
Ginny frowed. "Is all you do insult people?"  
  
"No, I also take flower arranging." (Sylvi's note: I knew it!)  
  
"Do you always have a comeback?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why the hell am I wasting my time arguing with such a loser that dates a homocidal noodle?" (Celesta's note: It's Maya's nickname! Well, if it wasn't before it is now.)  
  
Ginny stormed off, and Draco's face fell. "Wait! Will you go out with me?"  
  
Ginny turned. "What?"  
  
"Will you go out with me?" Draco repeated.   
  
She smiled evilly. "Maybe.", and ran off.  
  
"Maybe? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He yelled after her.  
  
"Look it up in the dictionary Malfoy!" Harry shouted from the other end of the platform.  
  
"That's it Potter, you are luncheon meat!" 


	2. The One With The Maybes

The one with the maybes  
  
A/N:- Ooops! We forgot to disclaimer our last chapter up. It belongs to JK Rowling. We own a bit- not a lot.  
  
AA/N:- I (Ruby) would personally like to appologise for our severe lack of right speelings. I (Sylvi) don't want to-you should be used to my lack of spellchechk use by now *stomps off in a mood*.   
  
AAA/N:- (Ruby) I didn't write that chapter okay!  
  
  
Draco never did make good on his threat, because he was waylaid by an angry goth.  
  
"Malfoy, I should rip you a new..."  
  
"Oooh, angry goth. Scary. I take it you spoke to Maya."  
  
"She's depressed. Why don't you go talk to her. You love her, don't you?"  
  
"I..."  
  
"Don't you?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"You IDIOT! I knew you were bad news. I told her, 'he's a nasty guy'."  
  
"You think I'm a nasty guy? Well, you should meet my brother, Damien!"  
  
With these frantic words, Draco stormed off to his room. Syren frowned. "Brother?" she muttered.  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Ginny crawled into bed, confused. She had spoken to Hermione, and told her about Draco asking her out. Hermione had said that he could be being nasty, but there was a chance he was in love with her. She had commented that Draco had been nicer recently, then frowned.   
  
"Apart from him telling Harry he'd be luncheon meat, but then Harry had told him to look up maybe in the dictionary..." Ginny reflected that he'd been not as nasty as he could be to her, and so she decided she would give him a chance. After all, he had put himself on the line...  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Hermione was also confused. She sensed that she may have a crush on Harry. When she had helped him, up she had seen him in a new light-she had seen him as just a boy, a boy like any other. Not her best friend, but a cute guy. She frowned; never associating Harry with cute before. She sighed-as head girl she usually helped people with their problems, but this time she had her own problem. She conjoured a low degree truth serum, put a tape on record, and looked at Lavender, who was brushing her hair. "Lavender, would you ask me these questions? I want to know the truth."  
  
Lavender smiled. "Sure." Hermione drank the serum.  
  
"Is your name Hermione Jennifer-Katherine Granger?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Who are your best friends?"  
  
"Ron Weasly, Harry Potter and Ginny Weasly."  
  
"Who else are your friends?"  
  
"Lavender Brown, Pavarti Patil, Cassandra Quest and Sarah Wessex."  
  
"Do you have a crush on Harry Potter?"  
  
"I'm unsure-maybe."  
  
"Do you have a crush on Ron Weasly?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What is your nick name?"  
  
"Herm, Mione, Know it all, Bookworm....what's happening?"  
  
Lavender switched the tape off. "The thing is over. Play the tape!"  
  
Hermione played the tape, and threw herself onto her bed. "I'll never know!"  
  
"Yes you will. Your heart will let you know when you're ready, Hermione."  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Maya wailed. "I hate him! No, I love him! Or do I hate him? I don't know!"  
  
Syren looked up from her magazine. "It's much easier to hate him, you know."  
  
"For you, maybe. You were never in love with him."  
  
"Thank God."  
  
"Oh, shut up Syren!"  
  
"Look, if it makes you this depressed, I'll go talk to him again."  
  
"Really? Oh, Sy, you are such a good sister!"  
  
Maya went to hug her sister, but Syren leaped out of the way. "Don't touch me. I cannot bring myself to hug anything with pink hair."   
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Draco grabbed the letter and ripped it open. "Yes. She said yes." He grinned, and looked up to see Syren. "Why can't I get rid of you?"  
  
"Look, Malfoy, I hate you. But my sister loves you. Why can't you be civil to her for once?"  
  
"It would go against my moral code."  
  
"She's your bloody girlfriend!"  
  
"Not anymore she isn't."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm leaving her. I've found someone new."  
  
"Who is she?" Syren growled.  
  
"Ginny Weasly."  
  
"You're messing with me."  
  
"I'm 100% true to life. Tell your sister she was a blast, but I'm afraid we weren't working out." Draco smiled.  
  
"Tell her yourself. See, there she is. Go on, unless you're chicken."  
  
Maya looked to Draco. "Tell me what?"  
  
Draco bit his lip. "Look, Maya, I want you to know you'll always be a friend to me. But I think it's time we went our seperate ways. We both need time."  
  
Maya went white. "You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"  
  
"Breaking up is a nasty word, I prefer..."  
  
"Hanging her out to dry, dumping her, throwing her on the reject pile?" Syren suggested.  
  
"You...you...BASTARD!" Maya began to throw things at Draco. Syren grinned, and started giving her sister some pointed objects to throw. Draco ducked and dived-he had stayed on the Quidditch team for a reason, and this reason was he could weave, swerve and dodge things better than anyone, including Harry Potter. He sent Syren a death look. Syren, however, was throughly enjoying herself. She had wanted to do this ever since she had met Draco Malfoy, and here she was doing it with her sister's help.  
  
Maya threw things at the boy she had up until recently loved. She hated him, but she loved him. She screamed in anger as Draco ducked.   
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Ginny looked around for Draco, when she saw him. They had met the night before as well, and since then Ginny was convinced she was in love. "Draco, what happened?"  
  
"I broke up with Maya. And Syren helped her attack me."  
  
Ginny's face fell, and she put a hand on his forehead. "Aww, you want me to kiss it better?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
She kissed him tenderly on the lips. (Sylvi's note: Dude, those two move fast!)  
  
"Why didn't I ask you out earlier?"  
  
"God knows."  
  
"Maybe we should ask him..."  
  
"Well, I can live without the answer, as long as I've got you now."  
  
"Oooh, possessive. Excellent."  
  
"Are you going to stop being mean to my family?"  
  
"I will, and I'll try to stop my father."  
  
"And what about Harry and Hermione?"  
  
"No promises. They both annoy me immensly. And they'd probably think something was up."  
  
"You might have to go through my dear brothers still hating you."  
  
"Well, as long as you don't hate me, I don't care."  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Maya cried into her pillow. Syren tried to ignore her sister, but finally she snapped. "Maya, he is SCUM! Get over him!"  
  
Maya looked up, her eyes full of tears. "You could be a little more sensetive. I did just come out of a long term relationship."  
  
"But he was mank!" (Celesta's note: That girl is wrong. So very, very wrong.)  
  
"No he wasn't! I just can't believe he ended it with me."  
  
"I know, you should've got to end it with him."  
  
"Look, Syren, shut up already! I loved him like crazy. Head over heels. Why did he leave me?"  
  
"He's going out with Ginny Weasly."  
  
"That was a rhetorical que-what? Ginny Weasly? He left me for her?"  
  
"I told you he was a prat."  
  
"You never said prat. You called him a git, a scumbag, a smeghead, a pot smoking junkie, a muppet, and loads of other stuff, but never a prat."  
  
"Well, he is a prat."  
  
"Look, Syren, you want me out of this funk right?"  
  
"Yes, dear God, yes!"  
  
"Well, break 'em up. Get Ginny to split with him. Make him come crawling back."  
  
"How?"  
  
"You're a goth. Do what goths do best."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Repel people."  
  
"I'm so glad you're my sister."  
  
"Will you do it?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
****  
Ruby's note:- Thanks for the first reviews! I couldn't believe it when I went on and found ANY reviews... But thanks anyways.  
Bloo-Bubbles, there's only two of us writing here (Silver Storm Dragon and myself).  
Sylvi and Kath, thanks for your reviews.  
Phip, It's MAYA not Mayo! Ack! (sorry if it was ANOTHER spelling mistake, but the rest of this fic should be almost perfectly spelt.) 


	3. The One With the Photos

The one where they all look at photo albums  
  
A/N:- (Ruby) Did the spelling get any better? (Sylvi) *storms off*  
  
Syren did choose to help her sister, and sent Ginny a note, telling her to meet her by the Lake to talk. Syren sat, feeling cold, on a rock near the lake. Why hadn't Ginny come yet? She was probably with Malfoy right now. If Syren was honest with herself, she missed the way Draco was there all the time, annoying her out of her mind.  
  
She looked up to see Ginny coming towards her. "Well, what did you want to talk to me about?"  
  
"Look, Ginny, I have nothing against you, and I for one am glad you're with Draco. But my sister is getting depressed. Very quickly. I know her-she's the impulsive sort. God knows what she'll do. Could you please make Draco at least apologise?"  
  
Ginny shook her head. "I'm sorry, Syren. I'll talk to him, but I can't make promises."  
  
"For my sister's sake, you have to get him to apologise! I don't care what you do, make him go without until he does! Just make him."  
  
"Go without what?"  
  
Syren turned to see a boy. He had red hair, and his face...God, that face...he was gorgeous. "Who the hell?"  
  
He came closer. "Ron Weasly. And you are?"  
  
Single, Syren thought, but only said "Syren Redwood. My sister went out with Draco before Ginny, and she's taking the break up really hard."  
  
"Oh, the poor girl." Ron said sympatheticly. Syren felt herself melt slightly.  
  
Ginny looked at her watch. "I'm meeting Draco in a second. I'll talk to him."  
  
"Let me know, please?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Ginny left, and Syren sat on the rock. "Why can't life be simple?"  
  
Ron looked at the girl, and noted how pretty she was. She had honey coloured hair and green eyes. He sat down next to her. "Your sister'll be fine. She looks pretty strong-the one with pink hair right?"  
  
Syren nodded. "Yep. I hate her hair like that, but what can I do?"  
  
Ron grinned. "Dye it back in her sleep?"  
  
"Nah. I guess it suits her."  
  
Ron smiled. "It's nice that you think of other people first. Isn't your sister in Slytherin?"  
  
"Yeah, we both are."  
  
"You-you're in Slytherin?"  
  
"Yes. You're-you're in Gryffindor aren't you?" He nodded. "Oh. Well, I really should go tell Maya that I've spoken to Ginny..."  
  
"No, Syren, wait. Stay a while longer. Please."  
  
"I guess it can wait."  
  
"Does it matter to you that I'm in Gryffindor?"  
  
"Not really. Does it matter that I'm in Slytherin?"  
  
"Well...no. Not to me, anyway."  
  
"Great! We can go-we can be friends."  
  
"Just friends?"  
  
"Unless you..."  
  
"Kiss you?"  
  
"Well, yeah, that would sway my judgement."  
  
"Well, good." He kissed her.  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Harry was pacing, alone in his room. When he had fallen, he had seen Hermione in a new light. He'd noticed that she was, in fact, very pretty-perhaps beautiful. Sighing slightly, he sat on his bed, and picked up a pciture of the three of them last summer. Had they really changed that much? He wondered if he had changed as much as them. Perhaps he had. He didn't know. He found a picture of them in their second year when Collin Creevy had pounced on them. Hermione was looking more than a bit annoyed (when she came out from the frame), Harry looked exasperated, and Ron was asleep. He compared it to last summer's picture; they were all taller. Hermione's hair had become less bushy, and she was smiling more. Harry was more muscular, seeing as he now had more of a chance to practice Quidditch in the Holidays now Sirius had taken him in. Ron had lost a lot of his freckles, and was slightly less pale-more tanned. Harry watched as himself in the photo kissed Hermione on the cheek, and watched her go red. He unwittingly noted how cute she was when she blushed.   
  
"God, what am I doing?" he muttered.  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Maya sat on her bed, feeling increasingly depressed. Why hadn't her sister got back? She grabbed a photo of when she and Syren were younger, and smiled at how innocent they both looked, both sat on their brooms. She looked out of the window and saw Syren approaching with some boy. "What the..." She watched them walk to the doors of the Great Hall, and saw them kiss. She saw Syren reluctantly leave the boy, and enter the Hall. Maya awaited her sister, and when Syren came in she stood up. "Syren Redwood, did you speak to her?"  
  
"Yes. She's talking to Draco as we speak."  
  
"Good. Now, who was that boy?"  
  
Syren blushed. "That was Ron. Her brother."  
  
"I send you to reclaim my boyfriend, and you end up dating the enemies family!"  
  
"Hey, leave Ron alone! We have loads in common and we get on really well."  
  
"What house is he in?"  
  
"Gryffindor. But I don't care. I like him, and he likes me."  
  
"Does he know you're a Slytherin?"  
  
"Yes. And he doesn't care."  
  
"Does he also know that our Dad's a Death Eater?"  
  
"No. But he does know I don't want to be one."  
  
"Sy, one of us has to be one, else Dad'll be heart broken."  
  
"We've talked about this."  
  
"Well, I guess Jamie did say he would..."  
  
"Exactly. We don't have to go through it. He wants to."  
  
"You realise we're signing our brothers life away to Voldemort?"  
  
"Yes. I do. But he wants too. It's his life to sign away..."  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
"You look happy." Harry speculated as Ron sat down.  
  
"You don't. What's up?"  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"Actually, Harry, can you tell me in the morning? I'm currently really happy."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I just found myself a girlfriend."  
  
"Who is she?"  
  
"Syren Redwood."  
  
"Hogwarts' resident goth?!"  
  
"Yeah. She of dog collars and black clothes."  
  
"But...why?"  
  
"There's more to her. She's deep, profound, beautiful. And she makes me happy."  
  
"How did you get to know her?"  
  
"Remember I told you and Hermione about going with Ginny to talk to someone? Well, Syren was that someone and we got talking...."  
  
Ron carried on explaining, but Harry had zoned out after the mention of Hermione. Why couldn't he get her out of his mind? Ron frowned.   
  
"And then the giant elephants were abducted by aliens and me and Syren snogged allllll night."  
  
Harry looked up. "What?"  
  
"Harry, if you are going to zone out about some girl, do you have to do it when I'm talking about my girlfriend?"  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Maya looked around her that morning. She saw her sister asleep, and all the other girls asleep too. She got up, and pulled a book from the bookcase-a photo album that Draco had given her last Christmas. She looked at the pictures of her and Draco together-they looked so happy. She missed him like crazy. She fished out the ring he had given her, and put it on her finger. She immediately began to cry, and ran her finger tip over the ring, and saw the gem shadow over. "Why can't I just get over him?" she whispered.   
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Draco signed the note, and gave it to the miniature owl. "Take this to Maya. Maya Redwood." The owl flew out of the window. Draco's apology note was brief, saying that he had discovered he loved her as a friend. Sighing, he returned to his homework.   
  
In the castle somehwere, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Syren and Maya were doing the same; dutifully doing their homework-though some with their minds on other things, and other people.  
  
*************************  
  
Ruby sat back at her desk. "Ah! That's better, another chapter *sighs*. Don't worry, folks! There's more."  
  
*Sylvi storms back in* "So READ AND REVIEW!" 


	4. The One Where They Fall in Love !

The one where they all fall in love (awwwww)  
  
  
Note: Since our cloning business is getting better, we have a clone of Will from Sir Gadabout. He's hot. And we love him. And we have one of our own each! We were also high on Fanta, fanfiction, and Now 51, (disk 2, tracks 1 onwards) (Ruby- IT'S MINE!!!!!).   
  
* please note that Ruby, Celeste, Celesta and J are all THE SAME PERSONA!!! She has multiple personalitites (Ruby- Like Aragorn!), not the voices in her head like Sylvi.... From now on we will use Ruby- it's easier :-)*  
  
  
  
Whilest their friends (and mortal enemy) were all looking at pictures Fred and George were planning a plan and looking at naughty pictures that Dean had got off the internet. (Ruby- we all know poor Dean never had a love life! Will- what pics were THEY????)  
  
The plan they were planning was a plan more cunning than a plan concieved by a fox who had, up until recently been professor of cunning at Cambridge university teaching the creme de la creme of cunning students, but had decided to do a doctorate of philosophy on cunningness through the ages. (Ruby- Sylvi happens to like alliteration...Sylvi-Hell yeah! Will-Wait a second-are you trying to say it's cunning???? Ruby-You're lucky you have your looks, Will.)   
  
"What shall we do?"  
  
"Create a band and have many consecutive number ones?"  
  
"Realisticly."  
  
"Create a band, get high on crack, and eat people."  
  
"No. Harry is already a rabid monkey on crack, we don't need to be."  
  
(The authoresses would, at this point, like to say how much they love MSTs. And how much they were upset when they were taken down.)  
  
"Mean."  
  
"We could always take over the world."  
  
"It's been done. By my hero."  
  
"Minkie, the magical monkey who lives inside my head?"  
  
"Um, no...MISS ALDER!!!!!!!"  
  
(Ruby/Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! GOD SAVE US ALL! Will: I think Miss Alder is Ruby's *evil* German teacher. Ruby-Speak not the name! Sylvi-She's Hitler. And Maggie Thatcher. In a Teletubbie suit. Ruby-All of the evils in the world. We will be setting up a fan club 4 the many ways that we can bring destruction unto her- MWAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!)  
  
Fred gave his brother a worried look. "I thought I was the weird one."  
  
George began to sing. "I'm a bad babysitter, got my boyfriend in your shower-WOO!"  
  
Fred slapped his brother. (NOOOOO! He smashed his head in with a sledgehammer! Tee hee!!) "No more banana skins for you."  
  
"Mean. Anyway, we have to focus."  
  
"Well, how about getting our teachers high."  
  
"It's been done." (Sylvi-Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high!)  
  
"How about luuuuuuurve potion?"  
  
"Now i really think you ARE high!!"   
  
"And if I am?"  
  
"Well, do you have the stuff?"  
  
"Yah-huh."  
  
"We may as well. Hey, giz a bit."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"A little project concerning Snape, a dead turkey I found, and detention."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No, I just wanted to bribe someone."  
  
"I'm a bad babysitter-"  
  
"Please, don't start that again...."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I seem to have a bizaare urge to sing a rap song like Princess Superstar!"  
  
"Um, can you resist it? We need to prepare the potion."  
  
The next morning, the potion was ready and in the professor's drinks. Unfortunately, some was unfortunately dropped in some unfortunate student's unfortunate drinks. (Ruby-Calm down, Sylvi. we know it was unfortunate. Sylvi-But it was really UNFORTUNATE! Will- o.O??)   
  
Here the pairs follow as:  
  
Snape3 McGonagall3Dumbledore  
Lockhart3 Snape  
Lupin3 Susan Bones' mother (don't ask...)  
Tralawny3 Flitwick  
Mrs Norris3 Filch (Sylvi's note: But I've got a feeling it was like that before the potion.....)  
Sprout 3 Filch  
[We just can't be arsed to tell you all how they got together- use your wonderful imaginations]  
  
Snape sniffed the drink. Funny, it smelt odd. He frowned slightly, but decided the house elves were probably suffering from a drug addiction of some kind, perhaps LSD (Sylvi-You take it once! It stays in your bloodstream! You have flashbacks! You kill your family, damnit! Ruby-Yes, Sylvi.... Will-Somebody save me o.o)  
  
He was right to be suspicious (ruby- long word, can't spell... Sylvi: YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGISE FOR IT!!!!) though. There was, in fact, something in the pumpkin juice that night. He, suffering from some kind of addiction to do with pumpkins, drank it, in the hope that he would reach the pinnicle of happiness in the bottom of the pumpkin juice cup. Cheese!!! (Ruby-sorry about that, I was just suffering from an attack of Snape's pumpkin-addiction syndrome) Snape suddenly looked up to see Minerva McGonagall.Only...she was beautiful (Ruby, Sylvi: ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH! Will: Be afraid. Be very afraid.)  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
Draco's evil twin stared back at him. "Look, Draco, I'm not here for a lovey dovey reconcilliation. I am here to recruit you for the dark side."  
  
"Damien, I am glad you came to visit, but now is not the time for a heartfelt family reunion."  
  
"It wasn't going to be. But since I'm here..."  
  
Maya walked into the common room, and felt her heart stop. "Wooooow! Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Draco, I was your boyfriend for a brief period of time recently.."  
  
"Not you, midget boy, the cute one next to you."  
  
"We're identical!"  
  
"So are Syren and I, but you don't get us mixed up."  
  
"You have pink hair, Maya."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"I'm Damien. Charmed."  
  
"Hi, I'm Maya, I'm single and I think I could be in love with you. Is Tuesday a good day for you?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"To get married. I want a white wedding with lots of..stuff."  
  
"Um, I'm not sure that I can get married right now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I...I just can't. Sorry. But we can date!"  
  
"OK!"  
  
  
?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿  
  
  
"Why does my heart feel so bad?  
Why does my soul feel so sad?" Fred sang mournfully as he watched The Wedding Planner. (When what's-his-name and what's-his-name go riding round on a motorbike to find J-Lo's character. They have 'Just Married' taped to the back of it.)  
  
"Why Fred, honey I didn't know you were that way inclined!" teased Ron.  
  
"Hang on there Ron. Harry said that last week he found you and Justin making out in Filch's broom cupboard."  
  
Syren suddenly popped her head around the door, and ran up to Ron.  
  
"Say it isn't so!"  
  
"I swear on Justin's life it's not true!"  
  
"Poor Justin then!" (Fred)  
  
"Bless his sotton cocks!!" (George)  
  
Everybody made a funny look at George-it looked like o.O  
  
Harry and Hermione suddenly walked in. "No, guys, I walked in on Ginny and Justin."  
  
Ginny frowned. "Oi!!!"  
  
"She loves me!" Draco whined.  
  
"Slytherin Scum!" yelled Harry, Hermione, Fred, George etc.  
  
"HEY!!!!!" yelled Damien, Draco, Ginny, Ron, Syren, Maya (who was there for the sake of it) and the authoresses.  
  
"Who the hell is he?"  
  
"Damien, my twin."  
  
"My boyfriend."  
  
"I'm his evil twin." Damien added, and was promptly hit on the head.  
  
"Stop revealing the plot!"  
  
"There's a plot?!"  
  
"Supposedly."  
  
"Anyway. Where the Hell have you two been?" Ron asked Harry and Hermione. "I haven't seen you since last night!"  
  
"Ooooooooh!" said anyone who was interested- i.e everyone.  
  
"Whaaaaa? I am not going out with Harry!" Hermione cried.  
  
"Bugger." Harry muttered.  
  
"What was that?"   
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Bust-ed!" George shouted.  
  
"He said a naughty word. Shame on him." Fred murmered into his beard-yes, he has a beard.[Ruby and Will- o.O;;;]  
  
"Look, I was practicing Quidditch." Harry commented loudly.  
  
"And I was doing homework." Hermione added.  
  
"Their story checks out." Ron said irritably.  
  
"Fred, when did you get a beard?"  
  
"Why did you call him Fred?"  
  
"Aw, screw it. Hermione, they are not Dean and Seamus-they are Fred and George."  
  
"Oh. Cool. So, Fred, the beard...."  
  
"A week ago. You like?"  
  
"Urm, it's lovely."  
  
"Starting to worry about Fred."  
  
"Aren't we all?"  
  
"Maybe Harry should grow a beard." Hermione said softly.  
  
"You like beards?" Harry asked, frowning.  
  
"No...I just think you'd look good with one."  
  
Harry ran a hand over the space where his beard would be if he grew one. "Hmmm."  
  
Ruby suddenly ran in. "NO, HARRY! Don't do it, you look bad enough already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"HEY!" Harry and Hermione shouted.  
  
Sylvi sighed. "Shipperness."  
  
Will wandered in. "C'mon, you two, time to go home."  
  
"Who are you people?" Fred and George demanded.  
  
"We are the voices inside your head."  
  
"I KNEW IT!" They disappeared, never to be spoken of again.  
  
"Hey, how did the Slytherins get in?" Ginny asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, then ten more of a slightly less awkward silence, and 15 minutes of a much less awkward silence in which Hermione read 'Dude, where's my ring?' (LNM) [Ruby-Right, Sylvi, last time I let you near the keyboard]   
  
Draco glanced at her. "Well, you gave me the password."  
  
"Oh yeah..." Ginny said brightly.  
  
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Fred and George stared at her. "You gave HIM the password?"  
  
"Well, duh, he's my boyfriend."  
  
"He's your BOYFRIEND? You could've told me!"  
  
"George, you can't expect me to tell you everything. Besides, you wouldn't have approved anyway. "  
  
"Damn right I wouldn't- he's not suitable for you..." George mumbled.  
  
"Mum wouldn't approve EITHER!!" said Fred.  
  
"Besides," Harry pointed out, "what about Syren?"  
  
"Shut UP Harry!" Ron shouted  
  
"Don't tell him to shut up!" yelled Hermione.  
  
Ruby zoomed in again for no particular reason. "SHIPPERNESS!"  
  
"Okay, who saw that coming?" asked Damien.  
  
Most people in the room raised their hands.  
  
"AWWWW! You guys are sooooo boring!" sobbed Ruby and disappeared to whence she came.  
  
Syren glanced at Ron. "Ron, wanna go on a walk?"  
  
"Sure." Ron said, shrugging, and they naffed off to do whatever they felt like. (Sylvi's note: ROOON!!!!! NOOOOO!!!! Ruby's note: You do realise that you are effectively represented by Syren? Will: She is? Woooooow! Sylvi: Go Syren! Go Syren! Ruby: -_-)  
  
Damien looked at Maya. "You know, planning a wedding takes a loooong time."  
  
Maya grinned, and threw her arms around his neck. "C'mon, let's get started!"(Ruby: WOOO! Go get some Maya... You know that Persil washes whiter!! Sylvi: YEEEEEEEEES Ruby! Will: ....) They left, Maya muttering about bridal magazines.  
  
Fred and George went to cause diabolical distruction until Voldie got off his arse and did the job for them (See next chapter). Draco and Ginny found a broom cupboard and were gone for the rest of the afternoon. (Ruby: We'll just leave it at that, shall we?!)   
  
Harry looked at Hermione, and raised his eyebrows. "Do I want to know what just happened?"  
  
"Probably not." Hermione advised.  
  
"You know we seem to be the only people not actively getting it on with someone in unusual places..."  
  
"Harry that is a facinating concept. Well, I'm off to the library see you later." 


End file.
